At 8am this monday i was one of 100 something meditators that were bundled out of minivans and into the thick of kathmandu rush hour. A shock..after 10 days of 9 hours sitting a day, no talking, (trying) to be equanamous to pain and not developing attachment to pleasant sensations, mentally struggling with competing desires, doing deep introspective work as well as getting lost in jumping jack thoughts - it was more challenging than the first course i sat in january, but at the same time a lot deeper and rewarding.
Perhaps this time around i had been already contemplating and discussing the buddhist fundamentals, but i really found that i could 'test' the concepts through practice; getting an experiential understanding to the intellectual, and finding my way at my own pace.
It's hard trying to write about it, but it was things like getting a broader grasp that all things, not just the 'tangible' are impermanent, the way our minds fabricate and propagate illusions, what really my intentions are behind my reactions and what i say and do, how 'i' - my devious ego pulls most of the puppet strings, and just the beginnings of how mind and matter feed each other and the separation of them.
The reality of my day to day sittings was wandering, distracted thoughts, at times succumbing to dozing off, moments of heightened awareness, tweaking of sitting position, being distracted and then marvelling at the capacity of some women to consistently burp every 20 sec for 10min, becoming attuned to sounds that indicated lunch was soon and chancing upon moments of clarity.
I spent alot of energy not properly meditating, but having an internal debate for the first 6 days as to whether i really wanted to spend the last days of my travels there instead of out enjoying life with new found friends.
The soothing balm for the intensity experienced were a number of conversations had after we were thrown into the rush hour chaos. With 3 other fellow meditators -caroline, david and kenta, over coffee and waffles we shared experiences and de-briefed eachother and then, later that night, pretty much all of the 20 or so travellers gathered for dinner and relaxed.
So what next? Am i to be a vipassana practitioner? As before i need to do more research into concepts i struggle with, but i can say that my practice has deepened and i am commited to continue the discovery.
Just as a side note ... The most wonderful moment of the course both times was when on the final day you see people's faces break into smiles and be expressive. A smile really does light up a person's face:)
About this tradition of Vipassana meditation...http://www.dhamma.org
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
ten days of surrender to noble silence
how to start. where can i start? perhaps with right now. a feeling of balance. somehow a strength in my self awareness. a confidence that i can find the handle that opens the gate to observe my mind and being, and find the moment to change.
oh, i can also sit cross legged, in pose, relaxed, without moving for over an hour. for those that have seen me jumping around for the past 30 years, that's a bit of an achievement.
where have i been? what huge big bang has happened? not a big bang, just a journey of struggles quietening down an over active cluttered mind, surrendering to the stillness of meditation, moving on from extreme lows and highs, slowly building my awareness of mind and body, experiencing and understanding some basics truths and rhythms, and unknowingly, realising an experience to live the teachings of the Buddha.
the course was a 10 day vipassana meditation course. vipassana was the technique of meditation used by the Buddha and what he taught in teaching the dhamma (the universal law) and path to enlightenment and liberation. i knew nothing of this before going in. all I knew was that it was 10 days of meditation, it was vegetarian and that i wasn't allowed to speak for 10 days. (surprisingly not so hard)
being overzealous, i had had the intention before the course to write in detail about my day to day experiences, but now, it's meaningless. all that matters is that for each person it is totally different. i make it sound all airy fairy, but it isn't. unfortunately it's my tendency to use too many words.
it's simple. it's about what you experience and how you relate and react to it, right here, right now.
for some, life changing. for me, with practice and time we will see. i have a long long way to go.
i'll stop here. if you're intrigued... there's information about what it is, videos of experiences of other meditators and an introduction from S.N. Goenka (who brought the teaching to the western world) on the Vipassana website.
oh, i can also sit cross legged, in pose, relaxed, without moving for over an hour. for those that have seen me jumping around for the past 30 years, that's a bit of an achievement.
where have i been? what huge big bang has happened? not a big bang, just a journey of struggles quietening down an over active cluttered mind, surrendering to the stillness of meditation, moving on from extreme lows and highs, slowly building my awareness of mind and body, experiencing and understanding some basics truths and rhythms, and unknowingly, realising an experience to live the teachings of the Buddha.
the course was a 10 day vipassana meditation course. vipassana was the technique of meditation used by the Buddha and what he taught in teaching the dhamma (the universal law) and path to enlightenment and liberation. i knew nothing of this before going in. all I knew was that it was 10 days of meditation, it was vegetarian and that i wasn't allowed to speak for 10 days. (surprisingly not so hard)
being overzealous, i had had the intention before the course to write in detail about my day to day experiences, but now, it's meaningless. all that matters is that for each person it is totally different. i make it sound all airy fairy, but it isn't. unfortunately it's my tendency to use too many words.
it's simple. it's about what you experience and how you relate and react to it, right here, right now.
for some, life changing. for me, with practice and time we will see. i have a long long way to go.
i'll stop here. if you're intrigued... there's information about what it is, videos of experiences of other meditators and an introduction from S.N. Goenka (who brought the teaching to the western world) on the Vipassana website.
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